Chapter 08

Heart’s Desires

Like every princess, I dreamt of the day my prince would ride to our castle to claim me as his bride. He would be handsome, generous, funny, and attentive to my every need. At our first meeting, we’d know our love was true.

Dreams are for the naive.

For years my father pleaded for peace with the Prairie Kingdom, but was denied. Now one word from the young warmonger king and I was packed up like a prize won in a card game. Neither my feelings nor desires were taken into consideration. A flood of tears did not stop my father. He turned from me and walked away, taking my weeping mother with him.

I was married and given wedding gifts of chickens and cows as if I was a farmer’s wife. And a horse; I was given a horse! Did they actually expect me to ride the beast?

I fear for the wedding night. That brute would take what he wants – by force. Our marriage will be devoid of tenderness and love. I am no more important than the spoils of war.

My wedding gown, pale green, for blessings of fertility. Am I farmland?

I pulled at the dress and the petticoats and ripped them to pieces. But the blouse was too well sewn. As I searched the vanity for something to cut it off me, a bottle of perfume fell to the floor, shattering; giving me a sizable piece of glass.

In my rush, I cut my hand. I used bits of wedding dress to stop the bleeding.

The truth of my situation swept over me. Tears of frustration welled up. There was no one to hear my heart’s wail; no one to console me or rescue me. I cried until I could not breath. I used the green sateen to blow my nose. Once calmed, I gathered the bits of cloth and threw them out the window; seventy-five feet to the courtyard below.

I could follow. It would be so easy just to ….

I have no idea how long I stood staring at nothing; thinking of nothing, for I no longer had dreams of hope.

It was growing dark.

He would come with his hot breath, drunken smell, rough hands, and food greased lips. How revolting.

Swiftly, I moved to bolt the door expecting him to kick it in when he found it locked. He did not come.

In the vanity glass, I saw bits of green dress and petticoat still hung over my bloomers. The blouse was smeared with blood. I’d forgotten to rip the sleeves off, for which I was grateful. The topaz was still in the sleeve pocket. I took it out, but it was difficult to see in the fading light.

I retrieved a candle from the mantel and lit it with the embers in the fireplace. I lit every candle and set them in a semicircle on the floor and sat in the middle.

I heard silver bells chiming, but I didn’t have such chimes in my room. I thought perhaps it came from outside, but when I looked there were no chimes. It almost sounded like laughter, as if someone was mocking me.

I returned to the topaz and tried to concentrate on it. Ribbons of colored light danced inside the jewel. They leapt out, and circled over my head, and around me. I’d never seen anything like it before. The topaz seemed to draw the ribbons of light back into itself drawing me with them.

I felt as if I were falling … no, I was being welcomed into where the lights caressed my body and mind. I thought I heard someone call my name. I gave into the sensation and allowed m self to be completely accepted into where no one could ever harm me again.

Topaz would protect me.

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Published in: on June 6, 2011 at 11:12 pm  Leave a Comment  

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